The Blind Leading the Blind
by Darthishtar
Summary: Honest mistakes happen, but when Clark Kent gets clumsy with his disguise, complications arise.


It was not a slow news day at the _Planet._ ISIS had reared its head over the weekend and facts, figures and fatalities were still trickling in. Closer to home, a Latino kid had been shot by a black cop while robbing a Korean market and dozens of related protests were in the works or in the aftermath. His Metro editor had accepted a job at the Gotham Gazette and Perry had five people vying for the spot.

And closest to home, some idiot had stepped on the stringer's glasses. This was a non-event of proportions so insignificant that he wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't needed a fresh cup of coffee. Unfortunately, the idiot in question was an intern and such kids always overdid the apologies in case their job was riding on their sincerity.

"I can write you a check," Jonas was babbling. "Well, not really. I have to pay rent this week, but next week for sure, I can at least cover your copay."

"It's an honest mistake," Clark interrupted before the intern could have a genuine fit. "I dropped the glasses right in your path. No harm, no foul."

The look on his face wasn't convincing. He was squinting through one cracked lens at his top drawer and rummaging for something with which to repair the splintered frames.

"Anyone have duct tape?" Jonas called desperately.

Six people in earshot responded, but Lois waved them off. "Duct tape won't fix the lenses," she pointed out.

"Fine," Perry interjected, making the intern turn the color of curdled milk. "Kent, take your lunch hour and go to LensCrafters."

"It's more complicated than that," Clark said. "I'm not your average four-eyes, so I have to have the lenses special-ordered and that can take a couple of days, even at the fastest place…"

"Contacts, then."

Clark shook his head, but Lois responded, "He doesn't wear them."

"Then take your lunch hour to order them and see if you can make do with squinting," Perry advised.

"Someone else will have to do my proofreading," he replied blithely. "I can't be held responsible for my spelling when I can't see the screen."

"Sounds like a job for Jonas," Perry decided immediately. "Isn't there _any_ more pressing news than Kent's astigmatism?":

They all hurriedly went back to their business, Jonas still stammering apologies, and he thought the issue resolved. When he glanced Clark's way later, he found him staring avidly at the screen through what remained of the lenses strapped into the frames with a lot of tape.

Clark disappeared around noon and returned an hour later with a problem.

"You look like Elwood Blues."

"You look like a ski instructor."

"You look ridiculous."

"Ten bucks says HR sends out a copy of the dress code as soon as Moira McClintock sees you."

"Well, then, I'm not visiting the sports section until my new specs get in."

Having just picked up a call from the Commissioner of Police, Perry didn't bother wondering what the problem was. Three minutes later, though, he bellowed for Kent and Lane and found himself facing a potential headache. Lois looked inexplicably amused by the situation.

"Kent," he sighed. "Take them off."

"Sorry, sir," Clark muttered, pushing his sunglasses nervously up his nose. "It was this or a seeing eye dog."

He started to say something about work-appropriate eyewear, but it wasn't his job to enforce a dress code. "You look ridiculous wearing those things inside," he said at last.

"Yes," Clark granted, "but since these are _prescription_ sunglasses, I can at least see people rolling their eyes at me. I can just lie low and look ridiculous in the privacy of the newsroom."

"Not an option," Lois guessed. "That call from Metro PD sounded pretty intense."

"Hostage standoff on the east side," Perry confirmed. "Take Olsen and get as much on-site coverage as you can."

"Perfect," Clark said. "No one will look twice at a man in sunglasses outdoors."

If it were not a heavily-clouded day with occasional downpours, that would have been true.

"What's the ETA on your new glasses?"

"Noon two days from now," he answered immediately. "I even ordered a spare set."

If they gave him a more permanent place at the _Planet_ , Perry was going to recommend a health plan that covered laser vision correction.

"You can file from home just as well as at the office," he decided. "Call me if something comes up."

"Such as…"

"Lois will know," he interrupted. "The Commissioner was good enough to give me a heads-up, so chances are the _Gazette_ hasn't heard yet. Get out of my sight before that changes."

Clark chuckled at the turn of phrase and adjusted his sunglasses sheepishly. "Yes, sir."


End file.
